SCOTT NORWOOD HAS A NAME!!

Seriously, Deadspin, before all the snark pours in, for stories like this you should be noting the suicide prevention hotline number and other relevant resources.

Please if you are having suicidal thoughts or just struggling with depression talk to a friend or call the suicide prevention hotline. They’re there to help: 1-800-273-8255.

1. Toilet paper. Find a brand you like and use it, no matter the cost.

POWER TOOLS. Buy shitty tools and they don’t do the job right. If you are using it more than once going to harbor freight will cost you money. That $75-$150 savings over a good brand will cost you time, and money in destroyed wood / other materials.

Reading these signs is almost better than watching the fb games

For those wondering about the firefighter hats and who Rodeman is, he was a firefighter/marine/great person who was run over and killed while collecting money for muscular dystrophy recently. It’s a murder that truly shocked the Lansing/East Lansing community. It’s nice to see so many Spartans out there taking a…

Are you huffing paint? Robert Evans MVP watch is GOLD. Meanwhile Emmit Smith is still funny but it hurts my brain more and more to read and decode it. I eventually start skimming by the end of a season. But I never get tired of the Evans thing.

No one puts Evans out to stud except the Kid Himself.

Bite your tongue. I come for the NFL picks, I stay for the Robert Evans’ MVP Watch (I am just old enough to understand the dated references).

Never. The kid stays in the Jambaroo.

I draw the fucking line here. We DO NOT want to see the Robert Evans MVP Watch disappear. That shit is the text equivalent of an orgasm.

+1 or -1 star.

I think for your dick joke Jambaroos you should retire Emmit Smith’s portion and replace it with a gobledygook inspirational nonsense quote from Ray Lewis.

Predicting an NFL player will live to be 85 years old in the craziest thing I’ve ever seen on this site.

Let me guess, that's from the Camp Belichick clothing range?

It kind of sort of works if you have a dedicated shower stall, without a tub. In a tub it’s straight up terrible.

Pringle baths are the best.

I can’t believe he went through with it. Just terrible. Accepting an offer to play on the 49ers. No one should have to deal with that.