Someone I know who gets lash extensions got sooo offended when I called them false lashes. She informed me that it was exactly the same as getting a kidney transplant, they were a part of her.

I used to be a newspaper reporter and since I was constantly talking to older men I developed kind of an overcompensation handshake (yes I am a young 20-something woman coming to interview you FEEL MY HAND STRENGTH). It was always super awkward when I’d approach someone my dad’s age with my Firm Business Handshake and…

that’s my takeaway, that gentlemen have become just that—SENSITIVE TO THE PAIN THEY MIGHT CAUSE OTHERS.

Yeah, I’m like “so they can actually hold your hand without squeezing it until you are in pain, and that’s a bad thing?”

So Millennial men are less performative of their machismo in this area. Cool, good.

I shit you not, he was my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome specialist. Two of the symptoms of CFS are muscle weakness and muscle pain, neither of which are improved by having Dr Claw do a deathgrip on you.

I had a medical consultant a while back who I swear to God was half lobster. He would grip my hand so tightly that I could feel my bones grinding. Sir. Sir. You deal with sick people. Stop trying to kill us.

The reason it rings as fake is because the manager takes too much time to set up the employee as a sympathetic figure.

Post Baby!

$100 grand seems too low of an amount to sue for considering they slammed a girl suffering from brain tumors head to the ground. Here’s a photo of her during arrest:

Jesus Christ, that is awful.

Please do! It’s not too hard. I used NYX jumbo eye pencil in Milk for the water line, the Naked 1 pallette and Kat von D tattoo liner for the rest of the eyes, MAC Myth lipstick, NARS Orgasm blush for contouring, and Benefit High Beam for highlighting.

:( I’m sorry about your health, and I hope you regain it post haste!

I love* how, like, there is a major public health problem located in Brazil and we’re still sending people from ALL OVER THE WORLD to that place this summer. Olympic Money > Global Health Crisis.

Don’t forget the lapis lazuli lariat pendant that you and your twin got for your 16th birthday!

My birthday is in May. Please make sure I’m a “pefect size 6" in the picture and that the lighting really captures my “golden blonde locks” and “Aquamarine eyes”

OH my god you are my people. My BF HATES the show so I only get to watch it sometimes but I love it so much.

I was a stay-at-home dad for the first year. My wife told me I’d be the one who had to sleep train the kid because her Cajun mom instincts ABSOLUTELY wouldn’t let her leave a crying child alone. When it came time for a nap, I’d make some coffee, grab a book and the baby monitor and head for the backyard. I’d turn the…