My husband had sex at 12 with a twenty something babysitter. I have been trying to explain for 16 years that this was not ‘okay’. It was only after our nephew turned 12 that my husband could finally see and admit to himself that what happened to him was not consensual.

I feel you. When I was 18, I started dating a 33 year old man. For the record, we never touched each other until I was of age, and I had a great time dating him—he was artistic and sensitive, an engaging conversationalist, knew the cool restaurants and the cool local bands. He never got me drunk or high, never made me…

It hit me then too- I think it is about seeing my daughter at the age that I was when it happened? All of a sudden it just dawned on me? I had an incident when I was about 13 that floated in my consciousness that I wasn’t sure was a dream off and on and then it hit me that it was real- that it happened and it became…

This thread is really amazing. I would add that when you are young, and you know that on some level, what you are experiencing is, if not wrong exactly, definitely not sanctioned by the powers that be. You end up (okay, I ended up) doing a kind of mental math: I let it happen to me so it wouldn’t happen to my sister;…

Maybe being in a good place now is the reason it’s on your mind? Like, perhaps this is the kind of safe environment you need to begin processing what happened. When you weren’t in a good place, there wasn’t time/energy to handle it.

46 here - and I almost feel silly saying me too. I’m also realizing that I wasn’t really in control of my sexuality in my 20's as I led myself to believe. I didn’t know how else to interact with males.

In my experience working with hundreds of survivors (and reading most of the literature out there on trauma), past trauma seems to emerge in two times: When things are really bad and it’s been triggered, and when things are really good. Often, it’s not until we are safe enough to be able to process it that our bodies…

All of these responses to the OP are super helpful. I thought it was just me. I thought I was being weird & self indulgent.

That’s really interesting. I am 39, got divorced last year, have a kid. Am in a great relationship and...All this shit is coming up. I’m in therapy and my therapist is helping me process things in a trauma intervention style. He says that it is pretty normal to try to dump things down the memory hole only to have them…

I’m going to see if I can find that article. I’m intrigued.

Yeah. In that circumstance I can totally see the benefit of analysis. It’s an opportunity for growth.

I woukdn’t have remembered except for your comment, but back in college I wrote a paper comparing that movie and the Joyce Carol Oates story it was based on. So disquieting - I should look them all up again.

I was in an abusive relationship with a 23 year old when I was 15. He was really manipulative and predatory, but I rationalized that it was ok, because under Colorado state law, it was legal. I’m only now, at 34 realizing the extent to which that experience impacted my life and relationships. Also, the MeToo movement…

Yeah, I’m in my 50s and it started happening to me a few years ago. I have these weird memories of what was probably the aftermath of a sexual assault at a pool party when I was 11. I don’t remember the event, but just that I became so angry at a neighbor kid that I destroyed a model he’d worked on for months and…

Hell if I know; the same thing happened to my mother in the 70s. She was 14 and involved with a grown ass man. I’m still confused about the whole deal.

Same. It IS confusing.

I would just like to say that I am very happy to see Laura Dern working so much lately. Such an underrated actress and her Renata on Big, Little Lies is chilling.

I love your comment so much because it’s telling me that people are out here like, “No. This piece of meat is supposed to be tough and chewed on for at least ten minutes. That’s the way I like it.”

A woman in my office loves this show and I swear to God this morning she told me she was throwing out her old Crockpot because of the danger. I told her I heard that wasn’t really something likely to happen and she was relieved.

Why is this show a thing whyyyyyyyyyy