HE LITERALLY GHOSTED HER!

I swear on the grave of Agatha Christie that Hercule Poirot did not have a soul patch.

If you ask Stephen Herrero the author of “Bear Attacks, Their Causes and Avoidance” which is the bible of place like Kodiak National Wildlife Refuge (USFWS), Brooks Camp (NPS), the USFS on the ABC islands, and other well inhabited (by bears) locations, he could have shown you chapter and verse in multiple studies and…

Tell me I’m not alone in seeing a penis and testicles shaped building.

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of racist drunkles’ voices wheezed out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

The “product” is even named Mensez.... as in, Men sez things not realizing how out of touch he is.. 

Who do you think is going to cover the cost in the end? Working class people who have to live and commute in the entire metropolitan area, through tolls and taxes. But fuck ‘em, amiright? 

I’m sure Mike Pence has just been telling them that they’re wrong to transition.

I really hope the old saying is true that Cheetos never prosper.

But Voldemort could read.

If you’ve been working your whole life in politics and planning for this moment, and some rich male idiot sexist racist who had never so much as served on a student council waltzes in and wins, you’re allowed to dissect what in the fuck happened. Respect.

I assume two things: (1) she voted absentee; and (2) Comey felt a dark chill up his spine upon hearing the news.

Yes, I am wondering how much this teen’s dad is responsible for her thinking this mess is in any way caused by her “frailty”.

We always knew that. We grew up assuming that we were constantly being watched and/or listened to. I can’t recall how many sermons I’ve heard in our Mosque where the Imam would give a shout out to whatever government watcher was visiting that day.

“I voted for Clinton but regret it because someone who works for her used to be married to someone who texted a picture of his junk to my teenaged daughter and she maybe checked her email once on her husband’s computer. Hillary didn’t know anything about any of this until last week, and she has never mentioned my…

The teen’s father told Buzzfeed he’d voted early for Clinton but regretted it, adding, “With the recent developments with my daughter, I can say that I would likely not have voted for either of these clowns if I had it to do over again.”

Stop with the auto play ads! Please! I can’t surf Jezebel at work any more cause the damn ads play by themselves.

My mom did criminal defense for 25 years in DC. She would regularly be called a bitch to her face by prosecutors.

am i supposed to be mad about this?

Yeah, I started out jokingly offering people could live with me in Australia if Trump wins, to genuinely wondering if our spare room would be available...