One ding is plenty.  You are cooking something in a microwave. This means you want it as soon as possible.  Anything you forget in a microwave is something you didn't need in the first place.

Please settle a debate: Is Back to the Future a sci-fi movie?

If you think spending $2500 to keep a 140k mile VW that is worth maybe $1500 on the road for maybe another year is a good play, feel free to lay out your case so that our reader can see another perspective.

Tampa’s record is no more inflated than any other team this year though. Even if they lost every single one of their OT/SO games, they still would have won the President’s Trophy by a clear 8 points over Calgary.

Jesus Christ, man. We’re not savages. We just like to push buttons.

Which one? 

I take a healthy dose of fiber supplement daily. Cup of coffee and a tall glass of water first thing, and 99% of the time I can have a complete and satisfying purge on my own throne before I leave the house.

Warlock? Nah...

After the Garnett trade, this is when the tank was supposed to START. The fact that they’ve managed to rebuild is magical. To make the playoffs this year is sorcery, like they’re a bunch of mages, or like, what’s the word I’m looking for...

It’s good that one of Deadspin’s soccer writers caught this. I have a feeling the other one missed it because he’s midway through a 5,000-word paean to Gerard Deulofeu after he did something good today.

Bledsoe caught the ball, he should not have been removed from the game.

Listen, I was 9 when the Tim Burton Batman came out too, but I try not to let it back me into bonkers takes like “Jack Nicolson was a better Joker than Heath Ledger.”

In the AAF, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups. The players who were suckered into wasting months of their life, and the owners who will somehow cash out and profit on an obvious disaster. These are their stories.

Placed on the DL for not even being mad, actually laughing too hard.

You’re right, coach. When I think “accountability,” I think Michigan State.

I have faith in a Mormon’s ability to be bored *anywhere*.

don’t you ascribe this evil to the poor, innocent 911

Ah, the old “but what if we made this worse” vehicle!

It is extremely funny for Bill Simmons, who almost literally burned Grantland down on his way out the door while throwing a public tantrum & leaving unemployed journalists in his wake, to criticize Anthony Davis for making a simple trade request in private.