George W. Bush did both.

Wait!? Am I missing the link to the poem?? I wanna read that so bad!

*not pigeons in my cooter. They are just my other biggest fear

This is my biggest fear. That I'll be tired or tipsy at the end of my cycle and just forget! That and pigeons

She's totes the best

What was tom ford?

Yes! But also this is on network tv

That box was too pretty! I knew it was going to be something awful.

I *just* realized I had a three syllable name. I’m in my mid thirties. I just never gave it much thought bc it was a name specifically chosen by my parents since it does not have a nickname, so pretty much everyone uses all three syllables all the time. HOWEVER when somebody actually gives me a nickname, love it. I…

One size up from Hollywood is a 2. Size zero is pretty much standard for Hollywood woman nowadays. Well, zero and two.

My ex got married less than a year after I broke up with him, to the woman he was cheating on me with. I am pretty sure she was clueless about me; he’s a world class liar. I stopped all contact with him when I broke up with him, so I heard through the grapevine. All of our mutual friends were pretty disgusted with his…

Ah jealous! It looks pretty great!

Wait. How did you binge watch unreal? Isn’t their only one episode?! I'm jealous.

I thought we were still talking about chocolate and vanilla, so I just couldn't process how it could be an unpopular opinion.

Why do the Duggars still have children in their home? Both Jim Bob & Josh should have their children removed by CPS. Immediately. Why isn't this happening? Because it's Arkansas? I just don't get it.

I wasn’t allowed to shave til I was 13. I was so hairy, fat, awkward, glasses, braces, a minority in my very bully filled classroom - they snapped bras,pointed out flaws with disgust, and were horrible. Never got any interest from boys or men. Just mean girls reciting the laundry list of my flaws. I ended up moving in…

Mean as hell and total bullshit. Why are people so quick to go along with meanness.

beautiful manicure!! Is that gel?

Why would anyone spending somebody else’s ridiculous sugar daddy money get a 2-speed blender when they could get a vitamix???

I was in a bar making out with the dreamiest stud ever. I had been day drinking for at least ten hours. We had just agreed to have my first ever one night stand. And then, I shit my pants.