If you live in America literally every Columbus Day parade is Italian-themed. Way more people associate him with Italy than Spain, no?

Drew tweeted he’s on his way home from the hospital today.

What would be more offensive to my wife...getting a Real Doll that looked like her, or one that didn’t?

Aaaaaaand exhale.

The self-inflicted ruptured testicle theory is still in play...

That’s sooo far down on the list of bad Magary takes...

Bah Gawd! That’s Magary’s music!!!

Sounds like something a dead person would say. 

“Currently NOT dead” sure sounds like something a guy who HAD BEEN dead would say...

*door flies open*

I was about to say “pics or it didn’t happen.” But now I stand mollified.

I am not taking all the credit for this, but Drew’s injury finally got me to buy The Hike, and I started to read it this morning on the train. So, you’re welcome.

He’s in Manhattan getting ready for his game on Sunday

I know it’s been hard, but I’m glad Drew is in New York, where he can be close to his large adult son.

Damn, I wish I would've thought of doing that...

Money on he was mugged after the awards show and “Shitty” did nothing to stop it. 

This is encouraging, but we need to know how he typed this.

Oh boy, he thinks pre-2:00pm is evening. This is bad, guys.

This is the worst marketing ploy since New Coke was introduced to drive sales of Old Coke.

a good update if you haven’t already seen: