I miss Fat Drew.

Is it gas? Are you gassy?

And to think, all this time, Drew has been The Miz and we never knew it.

I know Brazil felt entitled to win this World Cup, seeing as they were hosts and all, but you can't always get what you want.

I'm from Houston and you just punched me straight in the feels. :(

The 5 Stages of Grief (in theory)

I think the word is Schweinsteiger.

Glockenspiel!

Catherine O'Hara=goddess

You couldn't get your kids to watch "Beetlejuice" yet they were sucked into Forrest Gump? I'm sorry but your kids have issues. I couldn't get enough Beetlejuice as a kid and I was a kid when the cartoon was on. I wanted to be Lydia when I grew up. I sort of succeeded because I blame her for planting the goth seed in…

One of my favorite parts: Greenbow, AlaBAMA!

If you cannot afford the tip, then you cannot afford to eat there.

You, for not tipping appropriately. If you're leaving 10% for good service, you are a shithead. No exceptions.

"Does everyone have enough to drink? Brenda, how's the new job? How come no one is trying the onion dip?

It's called extra credit. If you want to participate, you have the freedom to do so. If not, I'm sure there are other opportunities where students can earn extra credit.

*handegg - that's the derogatory term they use now for American Football. I'll give them credit, that one's actually pretty funny.

"Well, you never know. I'm a very important person. I sell monogrammed coffee thermoses."