Fresno?  I think the Bakersfield Raiders is more accurate.

Man, Fresno would be so perfect for them. When I think Fresno, I think Raiders neck tattoo. They should move there and call off the move to Vegas to stay in a city that so perfectly encapsulates the team and its fans.

That cutout looks like Mathu Andersen

Agreed! Another option: let the woman make her own decisions. If it bothers you, break up! 

He only endorses products he uses and likes.

I am truthering the weed boyfriend, I bet the woman is fine after smoking and this guy just has a stick up his ass. He said himself that he anticipated a (boring) weed-free future with this person, and he also is pretty insulting when talking about her friends.  0/10.

“What happens if the Patriots win a seventh time!?!?!”

Then they will have 7 wins, and the world will keep spinning. Honestly, who gives a crap? The United States and Russia just backed out of a decades old agreement on intermediate range nuclear weapons, and we’ve got people worrying what might happen if a football…

Unlike Doc Prostate, you wont even know the Assman is in there unless you decline the anesthetic. In which case your hospitalization was obviously due to brain damage.

My sister is getting married. Her fiancée is having a bachelor party. He’s a good guy, but we literally have nothing in common besides my sister. I’m not friends with his friends. I’d have to miss a day of work. Am I obliged to go?

He doesn’t owe us an explanation.

RE: Colonoscopy.

I remember hearing the story (I think it was when he was about to leave Orlando for the Lakers) where Shaq had not touched any of his NBA salary and was living strictly off his endorsement money. Say what you will about Shaq, the dude is smart as hell.

Suffice it say I’m back and I’m fine. Fine enough, in fact, to plow through… YOUR LETTERS:

Seconded - this was actually really good. (Real Sports is still consistently awesome as hell.)

If you’re married and you clip your nails in bed, you deserve divorce. Fellow Steve here btw, you’re making the rest of us Steves look bad. Do it somewhere else. I bet you floss in bed too?

Us? No. Me? Yes. 

Re: Shaq’s endorsements.

Holy shit... how long have you had this prepared?!

I owe you an explanation for why I’ve been away for two months

welcome back