I think it's odd in general to think of a relationship as a job. I'm a wife but I don't think of myself as a psychologist, financial advisor, chef, prostitute and laundress. As a friend I don't think of myself as a events manager, life coach, psychologist, companion and career counselor. That's weird. All of our…

Not a normal-sized bag, either. A massive garbage bag. One of those goddamn 57-gallon yard waste bags. Full of dicks. You won't believe how massive the bag of dicks Upworthy can suck is! It will BLOW YOUR MIND.

This. I'm down with sharing in the things my friends are interested in, but give me an article I can read at my own fast pace, not a video that meanders around for a while before finally reaching the point.

Upworthy can suck a bag of dicks. That is all I have to say about that.

I have just flat out hidden Upworthy posts from my facebook for this very reason. Just tell me what the damn video is about or I'm moving on.

Jesus, any other Badu fans holla if you hear me??!!!!

I hate this kind of stuff too. When the JonBenet Ramsey case was going on, I was in the room with my grandpa while he was watching the news. Reporters kept repeating sentiments along the lines of how it was a shame that this happened to such a beautiful little girl. My grandpa yelled "Oh and it would have been lovely…

I stopped volunteering on holidays and started going off season, because the need is greater. There is no one helping the week after Thanksgiving or Christmas. It's really sad.

I work in a wine shop and during the Christmas season loads of our regular customers bring in cookies and treats for us. We're open on Thanksgiving until 5 (enough time for us all to go home and have dinner with our families) so I imagine we'll have some folks who bring us by some cookies or pie early in the day.…

I used to work in a restaurant that was open on Thanksgiving and one of our regular customers (so someone we all knew and had an established relationship with) would bring us homemade chocolate covered pretzels. They definitely brightened our day! If you're planning to do this for strangers, though, I'd say make sure…

We both got super drunk on the first and into bed (whores!) on the first date, right before passing out I urgently whispered "can we have bacon for breakfast?" I woke up to him belting out reggae and making bacon and pancakes. Been 9+ years, I think we make good drunk choices!

I swear to god I will post this to STFU parents. File under 'woe is mom'.

I've said it once and I will say it again until every single one of you man loving Jezzies out there agrees with me.

I... don't know how I feel about this. Like, sure, we need to push the importance of education on young girls and women, but I guess I just don't get where the princess thing comes into play? Do we need to take all fantasy and make-believe away from our girls so that they can grow up to be taken seriously? That's not…

That video brought back unhappy memories of me in gum class.

I love how the ones that aren't being actively held up to a tree are just sprawled right out on the grass, not giving a single fuck. They look like the worlds fuzziest stoners.

This is me in gym class climbing the rope all over again...hard to watch!

Elephants have a greater likely hood of killing their keepers than the big cats do, but no one ever accuses them of barely concealed contempt. Cows kill more people every year than tigers do (22 vs 3). Hell, the drive to the sanctuary was more intrinsically dangerous than the big cats were.

I've had good bosses, but I feel like for every good boss there are 10 sociopath bosses. I'm sorry you had that experience, and I'm sorry that workers in this country feel so powerless that they endure this heinous abuse because they think they'll lose their job if they speak up. The failure to protect basic human…

Imagine you are a baby who has lost about 2/3 of your blood volume in the time it took for paramedics to arrive and for you to finish being born. Now think about how much good the oxygen is gonna do when you don't have enough blood to move it around. This is what happened to my daughter during her birth. Now try…