“When was the last time they won a championship? 1988?”

Saturday, March 17th. Shudder. 

Jesus. Yahoo Serious is 65 years old? MORE LIKE OLD EINSTEIN. 

I had one of those “airplane approved” multi-tool doodads, and got it confiscated by some schlubby TSA d-bag after having brought it through security multiple times without issue over the years. So just know “airplane approved” and “schlubby powertripping TSA d-bag approved” are two very different things.

I had one of those “airplane approved” multi-tool doodads, and got it confiscated by some schlubby TSA d-bag after…

“I wake with stinky brown sweat crusted all over my ass and thighs! AGING SUCKS!”

Oh god. Drew is Kawhi Leonard and The Ringer is the Toronto Raptors! I guess that would make Maggie Greenwell surly Gregg Popovich? DREW WAS NOT A LEADER!!!

Maybe the mirror won this time...

Can we all agree that John is peeing himself?

It’s Walmart for rich people.

Funnily enough, so could Golden Gloves...

No, it’s an adventure!

I was in the military, and at the risk of sounding like Pauline Kael, nearly every veteran I know either supports Kaepernick outright, because they took that support and defend the Constitution shit fairly seriously, or, at the very least, finds all this offense on veterans’ behalf pretty damn comical. The one or two…

Oh schnap. Totally skimmed the article. Good to know I am not the only one to make that eff-up.

I was new to the DC metro area having just gotten a job in Northern Virginia not far from Dulles. My now-wife shared the drive with me from back west to our new place out here, then was set to fly back home to tie up some loose ends before joining me out here permanently. We purchased her a ticket to fly home from…

Coughpeytonmanningcough.

Jim Tomsula?

Cornilingus

Nah. He looks like the bad guy in a Police Academy movie.

How do you solve a problem like Maria’s curveball?

Seriously...the NBA is rigging it so we get CLEVELAND vs OAKLAND every year? That’s some 5D chess right there...