Hey...hey you! What’s yer name sonny? You just get offa my lawn now! AND MAKE SURE YOU DON’T TAKE MORE THAN TWO STEPS WHILE DOIN’ IT!

What you also couldn’t hear was the ref blowing the whistle for TRAVELING!!!! George Mikan is rollin’ in his grave over all the steps these young superstars are allowed to take to the basket!!!!!!

Interesting theory. Perhaps the McGarys were tired of the anti-Irish bigotry of their Scandinavian neighbors in 19th century Minnesota so they changed it to Magary.

They all sound the same to you, DON’T THEY????

MUHGARY!!! AWWW I’VE BEEN CALLIN HIM MAGARY!! WHY DIDN’T SOMEBODY TELL ME. I’VE BEEN MAKIN AN IDIOT OUT OF MYSELF!!

Dude! Same here with Magary! The fuck knew it was muhGARY! Do they read muhGAHzines in the muhGARY bathroom?

The Harry’s shaving guy made me want to take a razor to my eardrums...

The Cincy chili reference at least shows he’s in your head man! He’s the earworm of Deadspin writerers! I also don’t feel he imitates Magary at all. I always thought that if he was imitating anybody, it’s Charles Pierce.

Yep these are his twitter followers.

What’re the chances he cut a deal where he accepts his penalties in exchange for a reduced suspension for Brady?

OMG IS SEX A HUMAN RIGHT!!! IF WE HAFTA GIVE WATER TA PEOPLE THEN WEEMUN SHOULD HAFTA GIMME SEX!!!! GOOD THING WE HAVE LAWS AGAINST RAPE HOHOHOHOHO NOW EXCUSE ME WHILE I HUFF ROOFING TAR!!!

YES! Starbucks sizes in a Starbucks is only mildly annoying. But muthafuckas who order Starbucks sizes in a goddamn Waffle House off the interstate? OH NO YOU DI’INT JUST TELL FLO YOU WANT A TALL MEDIUM DRIP! You should deal with them the way Ben Stein dealt with contestants on Win Ben Stein’s Money who answered…

Deceptively athletic!

Dude! Everybody knows that fire isn’t hot enough to melt truthers!!! INSIDE JOB!!!

More like butt sex ball because otherwise I can’t figure out the fuck Chris Paul is trying to do in this Vine. He’s like a Chihuahua trying to mate with a very reluctant Great Dane:

HARDEN THEORY, CAWKFAKKS!!!!!

HE WAS ONLY IN A POSITION FOR A CHASE DOWN BLOCK BECAUSE HE FEARS THE CHARITY STRIPE!!!

MORE LIKE CHASE DOWN GOAL TENDING!!

The last time half my johnson had shit on it in a bathroom...wait a minute, what were you trying to say?

Wooo...allcaps for EMPHASIS!