Dude, he’s polled his 3 friends so that’s an accurate cross sample okay?

One is a person with free-will and in control of their sexuality, the other is a character whose traits are all manufactured in order to pander, while the creator tries to pretend that totally wasn’t the case.

Does this mean we’re done talking about Aslam? The lion who died for our sins.

What kind of monster would keep this guy as their dentist?

Ever heard of The Vortex? The owner is one of my favorite people, like, on the planet. Here are their policies, which includes this peach and many others:

The finest microwaves.

I am looking to hire cooks and waitstaff for my newest restaurant - Punchie’s This Is How We Serve It.

Black Jesus rode into town on an ass......

It’s still in there, the pages are just stuck together.

Fun fact, the Judge is right but only by a coincidence. The founding fathers always intended to write that protection into the constitution but then John Adams started looking at Button Gwinnett in that way and then the whole meeting turned into this 8 way Daisy-Chain with pantaloons and bi-focals strewn about…

“So, your table stopped me and asked what kind of fish they had was because they thought you were lying to them; I told them it was cod and they asked why we didn’t have real fish.”

Hahahahaha, oh Brayden, darling, did you read that delightful new Bruce Williams column in the daily print out of the internet that one of our several butlers brought us this morning?

And soon Twitch will play it.

This right here. This is what I come to the mailbag for. I like the idea that on any given day, an informed discussion on Romanian whorehouses can break out.

I think Jenny perfectly summed up the ridiculousness of basing an opinion on the entire show on the first episode.

Fashion gives zero fucks.

She proceeds to explain to him that only a hamburger contains meat, and that a cheeseburger is vegetarian. She says she knows this because she has been to McDonald’s in London literally *hundreds* of times in the last few years, and that a cheeseburger is always vegetarian when she orders one!

“Sorry, I know he hit someone in the fucking head with a hammer but he wasn’t black so there was no way I could shoot him.” -The Cop

We save bread here. We don’t use it to beat people with.