Yeah. I’m ten years younger than this lady, and the very idea of spending that much time with a 23-yr-old dude [who reads The Secret, ffs) is just uuuuuggggh. And one who writes “anywho” instead of the PROPER, CORRECT “anyhoo”? Helllll no.

Ughhhhhhh they bonded over The Secret? I hate them so much. I’m not even normally that judgy but that book is THE WORST and it’s garbage hippie prosperity gospel for garbage thinkers.

TBH, my first thought reading that headline was, “Wait, we’ve got people in jail who can actually create fish? Since fucking when did Azkaban have a prison labor program? Also I thought food-magic was limited to, like, doing stuff with it, and that you couldn’t just create food out of thin air, and...”

What the fuck were people expecting? “This isnt open mic night at the Bryn Mawr Student Union.” It’s the CATHOLIC CHURCH. He’s still incredibly liberal and progressive for the most ass backwards institution in modern times.

Theory:

HOW’S THAT COOL POPE TREATIN YA, GUYS

Seeking capitalization for my new product: Empowered Participatory Agave Lentil Yums. 10% of profit to go to buying goats for Mongolia, or possibly land in Mongolia FOR goats, depending which tests better.

Oh, no! That’s not me! That’s a pic of one of the world’s largest diamonds.

“some of the most inspirational women on the radar today

I feel like a hotel room full of balloons could uproot the best friend I’ve had for over 20 years. Do you hear that, Michelle? I will dump you if Jennifer Lawrence (or anyone else probably) gives me a room full of balloons. Get your BFF game together.

Coco Jr. has been sick in bed for almost a week and can’t even talk, but every time that promo comes on he points wildly at the tv and wiggles his little butt.

My brother is a lot younger and for the most part wouldn’t bat an eye when our parents would go out and I would babysit but every now and then he’d be all worked up over...whatever the fuck toddlers get worked up over? Like, no you can’t just light yourself on fire but here’s some crackers so stop crying. My stepmom,…

I would be insulted if my ransom was only $8,500.

I’d wear something Austentatious.

Dude I laughed at the Mindy joke.

woman does thing, is happy. society burns.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that no one on earth produces better kitsch and clutter than the English.

All. of. it.

I’d be all over a Pemberley teacup and saucer. And the gin.

But after hearing from my gay friends manager, agent and others who handle my finances and image and learning more about the hardships they faced because of discrimination and loss of income I may face for my out of date views, it became clear to me that everyone should be able to marry the person they love I needed…