Attention all news outlets:

Yes officer, Yoga Nerd was with me the entire time. Staring at cats. Yes, just staring at them. It was slightly unnerving, but there she was, present, not in Chelsea murdering people. The cat didn’t mind, no.

There’s so many lies I tell myself so I can continue to exist in this world without breaking down into a puddle of helplessness. One is that most people are, at their core, good. But shit like this, man... I don’t know.

I rarely say this about people. But she deserves all the bad karma that is heading her way right now. That video was so mean and vicious, it actually made me cry. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. And like so many women with the disease, I struggle with my weight. It’s like I woke up in a different body. I went from…

I feel like I’m only writing posts about how much I love people this week but... I love Misty Copeland so much! ^_^ She’s such a personal hero of mine. I’m a Black ex-ballet dancer. I have the wrong body type and the wrong skin color for classical forms of dance. I struggled with a dance induced eating disorder trying…

She would shake your hand several times then try to climb onto your shoulder like a parrot, because she is a fucking weirdo. But the best weirdo.

We will see you there!

“FLETCHER,” *nasal exhale* “MABEL. Three seven four, nine six oh two.” *nasal inhale* “Thirty four twenty five... Oak Street.” *nasal exhale*

I can’t complain about it because I benefitted from it.

You do know that all cheese is mold, right?

I’d agree. And she and Bobby need to tone down the “WE ARE NOT FUCKING” drums they’ve been banging, cause it ain’t helping their cause.

As in, I know they’re real but I don’t personally encounter any in real life so I choose to think of them as a myth.

So good to hear from you! Let’s invent subscription beauty box services real quick and then get home.

Yeah.... Sometimes I feel a little self-conscious about how many stereotypes I embody. I love kids, animals, taking care of people, cooking/baking, and arts and crafts. The last two are especially fun with the kids. I don’t mind cleaning, I’m very sensitive and emotional, and I read romance novels (but on the kindle…

I imagine if it was one of the current republican candidates instead of our actual human President, the speech would be different:

Don’t worry I’m a dinosaur to them too.

Lana is ready to ride eternal through the gates of Valhalla, shiny and chrome.

Everyone hush a second. Quiet. Listen. Hear that? Almost sounds like an a capella group slightly out of sync? That’s these motherfuckers turning on each other.