Ellie, I had lunch with Linc Chaffee on an island when I was a child. He was exactly as memorable as you would imagine; which is to say, I had to ask my dad a couple weeks ago whether or not Linc Chaffee was actually at that lunch or not.

I have handed out close to 5 million OtterPops and have never, in ten years, even noticed that there are characters on the boxes.

this is a first amendment violation and i WILL have you fired

Sir, I may not agree with the precise aesthetic in which you couched your expression of the same opinions I broadly hold, but I will defend to the death your right to be paid mid-six figures to say it without ever facing the approbation of college students

would love to get the splinter news slack transcripts, please contact me ashley.feinberg@huffpost.com

Whether or not I agree with you, I applaud your intellectual bravery and I salute the editors for bringing much needed diversity into our opinion section.

Thank you for sharing this.

Dude, your dog fucking sucks

Ok, here goes. Writing this out makes me want to barf. 

Looking forward to Splinter News’ imminent correction: http://gawker.com/a-blog-post-by-me-ashley-feinberg-1783973589

It will help guide our way to Candy Mountain, Charlieeeeeee.

My all time favorite prank in middle school was something by best friend and I had dubbed “shitboxering.” It was truly fucked up and evil but so, so fun. Until we got caught.

I had to have been 11 or 12. My little brother and I had gotten pretty chummy with our mailman at the time, and it got to the point where if he’d see us getting off the school bus a few blocks from our house, he’d give us a lift home in his mail truck, even letting me “drive” it down our cul-de-sac at one point (no…

Ah man. So it was classic olds’ overreaction to computers and not some really bad message? Damn. They probably thought you were some really skilled hacker.

We used to raise rabbits (and chickens) for food on our little ‘70s hobby farm, and one time when I was about 5 I pulled a little hairless kit out of the fluff in its raised cage where it was nestled against the cool Northern California winter air to pet it, and it died in my hands of exposure. My father rightfully…

You Shitti Farty Dirty Nasty Jude Bitch!

It's kind of sad how people can't see how they are intertwined.

I deleted my social media accounts years ago and now my life is so much better than everyone I know. It freed up a vast space in mind and body to contemplate my existence rather getting distracted by my friends and family’s consumer-driven performative experiences.