Or you’re at Arby’s

Always highlight truthers.

I eat peanut shells, sunflower seed husks, AND kiwi skins and I vote.

Now those are words Talib by.

Nick Saban has responded by spending 20 minutes silently assembling a rifle in front of his players while wearing a T-Shirt that reads “FUCKING TRY IT.”

How coincidental, Triple H will be our bond rating after the Trump Presidency.

“You’re a good egg, Noonan. Now pick up that gum wrapper” - Trump

“Hello, uh, governor Romney? I don’t suppose you still have those binders of women handy...? Also, some transition papers, a competent staff, any idea what the president does, and some Jack Daniels?”

Ashley, I know you probably take a lot of shit over your work here, so I wanted to tell you I have started to deliberately check Deadspin when something like this breaks, knowing that your article will both appropriately reinforce my horror and commiserate with it. You’re great. Fuck anyone who tells you otherwise…

I love how you make this the focal point and you don’t even mention how, after the play, the back helmsman decapitated 17 geese with his longsword to secure 15 toggle points, which, by the way, the priest converted easily into 2 victory runes.

“He threw his towel at the official and the official showed him the showers.”

Is this “Let’s forget some guys!”

This one time, there was a huge possum sitting on my backyard fence, and I side-armed a tennis ball right at it and knocked it off. Pretty sure I had that same goofy grin on my face. That was my World Series.

I’ve been a Cubs fan since ‘83 and shit, that home run fucking thrilled ME almost as much as it killed me. Jesus Christ!

But seriously - if you have an opportunity to insult a decorated war veteran you have to take it, right?

Wonderful! Then put me down for a design where there’s just a pair of baseball pants heaped on the ground, reading “Clark”.

Looks to me like baseball’s in his blood. Should be fine.

The good thing is they aren’t stuck with this failing business model for an entire season, they can choose a new one everyday!

I’m just brainstorming here.