In America, we use words like “grit” to describe players who are willing to get dirty and like “captain” for those who will do anything for their teammates.

To be fair, both are activities where you’re penalized for using your hands...

I hope he ended his address of the jurors with a tearful “that’s my quarterback” 

Thats your reply? A semantics argument?

Orthopaedic surgeon here.

You feel strongly about this!

He’ll respawn at the hospital in a few anyway.

He can’t contend in the mountains because he is too big. If he lost a ton of weight then maybe he could, but if he did that he would also lose a lot of his top end power which is what makes him so great. Enjoy Peter Sagan while you can, he’s by far the best thing in cycling right now. He can do basically whatever…

“This year starts ... in Düsseldorf, then moves south through Luxembourg and Belgium before rolling into France early next week.”

Messi was thinking about inviting his national teammates but decided he’d rather the wedding not end up as a huge disappointment.

“I thought Gawker got shut down because Univision recognized there was no revenue in it and they didn’t want political commentary.”

Those are varicose veins, which are most commonly caused by standing for extended periods of time. After a certain point of full capacity, veins (commonly those father from the heart) lose their ability to keep blood from flowing backward and, as the blood gathers more in the lower extremities, the veins enlarge to…

Exactly. I hate to name-drop, but [Ryan] Fitzpatrick is still playing!?

DOCTOR #3: “I cannot in good conscience recommend continued violent athletic competition to someone with your heart condition.”

PAYTON, NEXT DAY’S PRESS CONFERENCE: “Just to be on the safe side, we’ve suggested that Fairley go for best out of five, but we can’t entirely rule out best of seven depending on how it goes.”

Pit these guys against the Russian hooligans and let’s take bets. I think I take the Russians, assuming they’re not doping.

Dempsey came back to MLS when he was 30. At most, you missed out on two seasons of him coming off the bench for Tottenham. Get over yourself.

1. Don’t you ever say foul things about Clint Dempsey, who spent his age 24-31 seasons in the EPL (meaning you are also just wrong)

If this was any other team I’d call bullshit but once you’ve had a scandal involving a party boat that warrants it’s own Wikipedia page, I’ll believe anything.

America was built on this shit and lies and cover ups.