That would be me then, if I have problems I can always ask the barman at the pub. He pours pints for fun since retiring as a Rolls Royce mechanic.

Had there been a bus, or train or other form of public transport I guess you have used it to get to work. This stuff is not that complicated. Yes, I like cars, are they something that I could live without? Maybe, but I would like to keep mine for fun, an indulgence akin to those who keep horses.

So, a small European village with a car park then?

This is one of the better getaway cars,

A Tissier Citroen is very often the answer

I am a grown up and I like cars and bicycles.

I have told you a thousand times, Bruce, stop bringing your stupid car to the yacht club.

How many Lego bricks does it take to make one?

I know, that is why my next rally car will be;

I rather like the early cross-eyed ones, the slightly cartoonish look that is utterly at odds with the very very grown-up near supercar that no-one expects. Either would do nicely though.

Ford Escort:

I am not convinced that this stuff works, the lead photo shows a BMW that does not know what the time is.

I have had several, they are almost all some sort of resto-mod already. Many have been back to the factory for upgrades, TheAston Workshop in Consett can and will build you one to pretty much whatever spec you want but they have never been cheap. Somehow they never fell into the sort of “oh sod it, even if it has had…

They must be a healthy group of people as anyone with a cough would be breaking the rules. ( average 87db )

Just buy a crap one.

I could say something pithy, or apposite or even mildly funny.

IDK either, ask Christian von Koenigsegg, Merlin or at pinch , Gandalf. If this fails, try he whose name shall never be spoken.

Because sometimes too much really is too much;

I have one (or two) already thanks. Fun fact, every single one of these has a different wiring loom. Ask me how I know!

Also it is fun to see how many cartwheels you can do. (do not try this if you over 40)