I used to own a hotel in Alston (the town at the end of the video) yes, it is silly. But, today is my birthday. My big old Bentley was working nicely so I went for a drive. The footage would have been lovely if I had rembered to switch the stupid camera on. So here is the drive from a bike.

If it is not painted in a red and white chequered pattern I (and the entire nation of Belguim, I suspect) will be sorely disappointed.

I think you missed one, or to be accurate, two.

Yes, It was called the Gnoman Empire.

I know it only has two hidden wheels but I really need somene else to buy this,

Stricly speaking I think this is a exterior feature. But what do I know, modern cars are weird, maybe interior wipers are a thing these days.

Mine are usually not as pretty, but yes, one is mine.

It is so good to learn, there are people out there who are even sillier than I. 

Have you ever made the mistake of neatly flicking a still burning cigarette toward an old 40 gallon oil drum you use as bin? Only for the world to go into slow motion, it is not THE bin. It is other one, another open topped one , half full of petrol, being used to degrease a cylinder head? Only to remember every…

What? you had go nuclear?

I was going to say that this sounds stupidly fast and dangerous, but then I rememered.

Thank you for reading my reply. To explain I am Nic’s “Best Beloved”, and I’m 76. It’s not just taxi’s, my granddaughters friend was sexually molested on her way home from the pub one night, in the middle of a city in Kent. She was wearing a short skirt. Verdict, it was her own fault, she was asking for it, wearing a…

You’re missing the point, in fact, most of you are missing the point.

Well said,

I have just aquired a car that was built on the same day that I first drew breath,

I am aware of this conundrum, if you call them Sprites this upsets the Piskies, if on the other hand one were to call them Sprigets? All would be good, so one might think. Or not, if the pet name (self anointed) of one’s first wife was, you guessed right, an amalgam of words suggesting both a lack of stature and a…

What? There are 21 of them? Somebody really should have informed  me, you really cannot get the staff these days.

As would  I.

Carl Hiasen,

It really is down to who you know, not what you know. I do hope that your cheapskate Maybach was not too disappointing.