I have requested that my husband allow me to decomp down to my bones,dip said bones in silver,encrust them with precious stones,place them in a small sealed treasure chest and bury them in the basement crawl space of my ancestral home. 

I had chickenpox as a kid. I missed the school talent show, a sleepover at my best friend’s house, and lunch with my brownie troop at the governor’s mansion. I still have scars on my stomach, and I live in fear of shingles, except insurance doesn’t cover the vaccine until age 60, so I hope I make it another 20 years.

I’m really sorry but this made me laugh:

Mike Brady was an architect but somehow the six kids had to share two bedrooms and one bathroom between them?  Like, slap an addition onto the house, Mikey-Boy!

Yikes :/ I wouldn’t want to mess with any of the -carditises. So glad you’re well!

Maureen McCormick said she was raised very liberal, she’s a LGBT advocate and a Democrat... I doubt she expected to spend 2019 using her waning celebrity to remind people that measles are bad and it was just a TV show.

Following anti-vaxxers’ logic, I now believe WWII German POW camps were full of wacky hi-jinks. My irrefutable source is Hogan’s Heroes.

I assume a lot of parents will now start tossing footballs at their kids’ faces to justify getting them a nose-job.

Thank you. I appreciate your willingness to consider other perspectives and experiences. Culturally we seem to swing so wildly to these extremes. One minute if you breastfeed that’s just horrible and the next if you don’t, that’s just horrible and you’re a failure of a mother and a woman. I mean, the mother in this…

EXACTLY. With my son we had feedings drag out with tears and frustrations right up to the time of the next feeding.... no time was saved for us. Your milage may vary...

Also raises the question: if the parents were *that* against formula, why was it there in the house?

It was because her parents disapproved of the older heroin addict she began dating. Just providing context

When my daughter was having a hard time finding a job, I told her, “as long as I have a roof, you have a roof. I can’t promise that it will be ideal, or even comfortable. But you will never be homeless as long as I’m not.”

Wow, have never seen this side by side. Chilling. Same disorders.

“Benny Mussolini is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more.”

Trump has definitely studied Mussolini. Mussolini + wig = Trump

Consider asking your MD to prescribe you macrobid. It is a low-dose antibiotic that you take after sex. I get so many condescending, "Just pee after sex!" comments, but macrobid works for me and peeing didn't. My MD said it was better for me to take low doses of antibiotics after sex than it was for me to go on…

Yes! I think I've gotten so good at recognizing the symptoms that it's not severe enough for the stick test to pick up.

I felt bad for my roommates last time I used it. I was staining the toilet.

Sometimes I flush and it's still orange, it's THAT orange.