I have the mixed feelings too. Wish there were some algorithm—length of history, number of exchanges, number of stars—to do that filtering. Hopefully we'll get some balance back sometime soon, even if it has to be wonky for a while to keep out that putrid garbage.

Let's not concern troll the baby. She's in an airport being stalked by paparazzi. I'd say she's handling it pretty well for a tiny human- or anyone, really. I can also tell you that my kid mean mugs strangers like nobody's business but, when comfortable, is one of the happiest, sweetest little people I know. If you…

Got it! Thanks.

Define, please? Interesting.

...selvsie?

"Babe, you know I love you, but.. when's the last time you brushed your teeth?"

Oh, go fuck yourself- that is, if you're able to maneuver well enough around the chip on your shoulder to make that work. And while you're at it, give a bit of thought to how you can have thoughts about an issue from a few different angles related to different roles you play. As an educator (see what I did there?),…

No, fuck this.

I was joking. ;)

And who knew she was married to Ira Glass?

#luddite

Hashtags have become such a common form of jokespeak that I wonder if it's not reflexive for a lot of people, or if many people don't even realize the implications of using them on Instagram. It's possible to pick up that usage without ever having had an IG account, so I can see this happening easily. It would be nice…

if guests had read the wedding website

"Pianos!"

Oh jesus. Hahaha. Also, allow me to say you a compliment about your username.

I want to passive aggressively post this to the Facebook wall of a neighbor of mine who thinks Trader Joe's is the fucking second coming. HAVE SOME LISTERIA, INEXPLICABLY BRAND-LOYAL HIPSTER.

The parenthetical pause was perfect.

This is the kind of name Jr./III/IV/V/XXXpleaseohplease generational suffixes were made for.

Sorry, you're offended, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN BORN.

...might you share what is he referring to, that we may also appreciate the cuteness of this tweet?