Speaking of Craigslist ads, this recent one caught headlines:

I get nervous about my writing before I remember 50 Shades made it. I need to finish revising.

I liked thinking of the “inner goddess” as a pornographic variation of the Lizzie McGuire cartoon character. That was the only component of that book I found entertaining.

The severity of her accusations are false and extremely harmful. I’m not sure she realizes the irreparable harm of her actions.

Yes. When someone is so beautiful it becomes pointless. Like what could I possibly do with this? Same feeling I get when a desert is too cute/pretty. Can't eat it. Maybe that isn't the same thing. I'm stoned

I don’t think I get as irrationally angry about anything as I do about clicking (un-labeled) deadcast links. The listicle was invented for a reason.

“University of Virginia student Martese Johnson misstepped earlier this year when he tried to enter a bar with a fake ID. He was beaten bloody.”

I know right? A win for a white woman is a win for all women whether or not the content she creates has a negative or positive impact on people of color. This comment section is the definition of “white feminism” right now.

You can call me Ernest Poppins.

OUR HISTORY IS SO IMPORTANT HOW DARE YOU INFRINGE ON OUR RIGHT TO HONOR AND RESPECT IT.......wait, all you black people are still hung up on slavery?! That was soooooo long ago OMG get over it. (said with all of the sarcasm)

I’ve only seen it spelled with a ‘C’ my whole life. I’ve had classes with several Caitlins and it’s always been like that.

“You gave me a SOCIAL DISEASE!”

Size 12 but must be a toned hourglass figure with no flab, though. Just like a size 4 with the "wrong" proportions and too much flab will get a thumbs down.

Whoa, dude, did I say my life was over? Or did you project that because society enforces the idea so heavily that partnered/family=winning, single/alone=losing? Please believe me when I say I don't say this meanly. I'm just pointing out how nowhere in that post did I say that my life is over just because I expect to…

LOL, that’s how I feel when I see people saying they’ve given up on love and then saying they’re 22 or something.

It’s a great improvement. The original one made me go:

Lay-offs in Joke Fact-Checking Department Inspire Award-Winning Novel About Man Grappling With Masculinity, Identity in End-Of-Men Era

God, Mallory Ortberg is the best.

You have no idea how many people I’m going to fire in my Joke Fact-Checking Department. That sort of oversight is unacceptable.