Step 1: instead of ass say buns. Like “kiss my buns” or “you’re a buns-hole.”

Umm yeah, Retarded is a pretty big trigger for most mentally or physically disabled people. As a parent of two Autistic kids who are both rather intelligent, it makes me cringe to hear someone say the word retarded when they mean it to denote being stupid. But it even goes back farther for me. I used to volunteer with…

A third of those minutes were in game 2, when the Cavs got housed. He played mostly garbage time the entire series. He is not good.

One of my clients is a minor league ballclub; when we first picked them up, I spent a lot of time at the gates, making sure their ticket-scanning system was functioning correctly under load.

I love that he keeps going back to “I give them to kids sometimes!” Well gosh, nevermind then!

Dear Zack. You’re “That guy.” You shouldn’t want to be that guy. No one wants to be that guy unless there’s something wrong upstairs. Stop it.

I went to college with Zack Hample. He was a selfish & unpleasant dickwad then and appears to have changed little since then.

What an asshole. So insecure that he has to respond with two self-serving manifestos and then tweet screenshots of them to boot. And he can’t help name-dropping the whole time. Just sit in your seat and watch the damn game like everybody else.

Also him acting like he did a selfless thing by giving A Rod his 3000th HR ball back is bullshit. He held onto that thing for weeks waiting for a payday from A Rod/Yankees. Yes he did get them to donate 150k to charity but he also got free tickets, memorabilia (assuming they were signed by A Rod and other players)…

I got as far as “I feel a special connection to Didi” before my eyes rolled out of my goddamned skull and I couldn’t read anymore.

Proposed rules for adult fans who catch baseballs:

What I want to know is does he pay off the ushers to move around the stadium during the game to get into prime homerun spots? Also, any GROWN MAN that says he “wants” a homerun ball more than a kid is straight trash.

The fact that he's written multiple emails...and then posted them to twitter....shows what a delusional asshat this guy is. He truly sees himself as a victim who tries to do good in the world. He sees being a "ballhawk" as his calling...the way someone might join Doctors Without Borders, teach children to read...yeah,…

I agree that he is self aware but to me it comes off as trying to do damage control. Take the story about the 7358th ball. Unless he has a journal of every single ball he got what are the chances that he just happens to remember a random event that happened in 2014. In the story, which I feel is clearly made up, he…

No way, fuck this guy he throws kids out of the way for his weird little obsession and then gets pissy when people bump into him

Fuck this guy, you shouldn't have been as nice as you were to him. I watched one of this guys videos and he's a fucking con artist who has t shirts of the away team who is playing the day he's at the stadium and as a grown man begs other grown men for a fucking baseball and almost always pushing a kid out of the way…

Here’s the thing, I don’t care if each ball is special to him, he’s a jerk. He’s taken a cool, random part of baseball and distilled it into his own brand of ego fuel. I hope he suffers a career ending injury, somehow involving his asshole. When a grown man takes a foul ball away from a kid, he’s just a bad person.

That’s completely false. How old are you? Do you know how different the defensive rules are now? Jordan averaged 37 one year, in a time when you were literally allowed to grab the ball handler with both hands. And almost nothing was a flagrant foul.

This. I’m pretty sure a rim killed his father.

You say MJ and I say Kareem Abdul Jabbar is the GOAT. Kareem won on every level he has ever played on. He won 3 city titles in high school, 3 national championships at UCLA to MJ’s 1 title and it would have been 4 but Jabbar was not allowed to play his freshman year because the NCAA has always been stuck stupid. Throw…