The hymen is the most misunderstood part of human anatomy.

It’s a bonding ritual and proof that you are part of the elite cabal. The whole world is theirs, especially women. It’s reaffirming them that they’re as powerful as they think.

Also why the fuck would you do it when you’re on a global tour of foreign nations that would happily try and get blackmail material over you?

God that calling any form of UK police in foreign shows as “Scotland Yard” is so teeth-grinding.

Ah, but how old were these ‘foreign women’ and did anyone ask their mothers?

The Scotland Yard

I’ll never understand the thought process behind ‘I am going to mess with sex workers, while I’m on the job!’, if you can call it a thought process. It happens in my company too - extremely buttoned-up corporate place. When there’s a team of mostly dudes (which is mostly always) working with a client, they frequently…

Seems about right since the current occupant has been crapping the bed since January.

Sis? You sent me that text literally minutes ago. Why you gotta ruin Thanksgiving by asking for a tofu option?

I genuinely feel bad for that child. The only White House kid who I think had even close to as bad of an experience was Chelsea, and she at least seemed to have strong relationships with each of her parents. Barron gets to have his teen years televised, gets to watch his father immersed in scandal, gets to attend…

I miss Obama’s dad-jokes at the Turkey pardon. He’d embarrass his girls every year. Trump just isn’t funny (on purpose).

They’re white, so of course Trump would pardon them.

I’ll say to this what I say to all hip religion:

So...religious propaganda? Isn’t that why we all have those weird religion channels in our cable packages? I think I’ve got like 5 catholic channels who are always playing bizarro music videos. Does Amazon really need to promote this shit?

So he’s a hipster Joel Osteen, then?

Man, these guys really need to learn their Bible.

I recently listened to “pastor” Carl Lentz on the Bill Simmons podcast and was left with the feeling that he just desperately wants to be around famous people.

Mueller could charge him with perjury today. Really, what’s the wait?

Oh, this policy will go to court.

Tangentially related...