-1 for redudancy. All Blake Shelton’s are Bloated Blake Sheltons.

Hell, go full on Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and put it on him permanently.

I’ve told this story before and forgive me, will tell it to the day I die. I double finger saluted Pence a few weeks after the election as I stood all by my lonesome on a corner waiting for his Motorcade of Assholery to pass me by so I could finish a run. IT FELT SO GOOD. Now I wish I had mooned him. Mother was with…

I reject his underlying assumption that he’s relevant enough for anyone to care about this.

Also, Ivanka may be using vocabulary flashcards, but she has to hold them at crotch level.

I have never seen The Lion King because I dislike animation in general, especially Disney, so the boyfriend had to give me a detailed explanation of what it is about (beyond what I assumed was a lion that was a king of somewhere). Beyonce still isn’t enough to make me want to see this movie. This is probably going to…

But Beyoncé can’t act.

Unpopular opinion: I hate Beyoncé. And all musicals. I won tickets to Hamilton and gave them to a friend. Bleh

I don’t know if they’re miserable assholes but I definitely feel like I have nothing in common with them, like people who stay in Hard Rock Cafe hotels or all inclusive resorts or who drink shots... I mean, everyone I know who enjoys cruises, well let’s just say they’re not my tribe. I like some of them, but we’re…

It’s reasonable to predict they go down together (which may be the first time Pence goes down; but that’s Mother’s problem).

Not sure there is any good way to tell someone you don’t find their kid as fascinating as they do...

SO YOU’RE SAYING I HAVE A CHANCE NOW

I mean he’s only human. Who doesn’t turn to mush for Michelle?

I don’t miss him.

Last week I felt like I had taken crazy pills when the judges creamed themselves over that uninspired outfit Claire “designed.” I presume the whole win was a setup because they knew she was cheating and wanted to goat the others into making a scene - it was poorly done though and looked super contrived (even more so…

Dammit, I hadn’t seen the ep yet!

Because that is what will disrupt the sudden burst overreaction and outrage. Like I’m all for dragging shitty men, what I ain’t down with is dragging people who have shown growth and learned from their mistakes.

Jason Momoa apologized and made a documentary about rape. He apologized again. We can continue to flagellate him when he actually made progress/amends or we can actually bring the spotlight back onto a serious predator with current conversation we are all having. I suggest this dude:

NOOOOOO. And that sounds just like him! My father was a doctor in Houston and told me a story about a nurse he worked with whose car broke down on the side of an isolated road in the 70s. A really deranged, terrifying-looking dude with a weird eye approached her car and tried to break into it. She somehow got the car…