If you add a small pinch of salt to the mix, it will taste even better.

"Started on clean up just like you guys, but now… See, I'm washing lettuce. Soon, I'll be on fries. Then the grill. In a year or two, I'll make assistant manager and that's where the big bucks start rolling in."

I have some suggestions for the AVClub…

So kidney beans cause kidney stones? *Mind blown*

Yes, every way but my way is the wrong way. Duh.

What difference does it make, the flavor will be right, just different amount of meatiness.

Pffttt.. just leave out fish flavor and add a little MSG instead if you want glutamates. Really though with enough tomato you don't even need it.

Yes, everyone knows it's a 3 to 1 ratio of chili pepper to cumin.

What's that saying? Chili secrets are like assholes. Everybody's got one.

Self driving or GTFO!

Pics??

So apparently Canada has a chain store called the Bulk Barn. Everything is sold in bulk. So the wife bought some loose tea, dried apricots, and some other random things. We forgot about this bag for like a month.
Now the tea tastes like apricot tea (which is actually pretty good), but the apricots kind of taste like…

Hmmm… My wife is always saying that the cats need their bellies rubbed and it makes her happy. Sometimes it even makes the cats happy. Maybe they're onto something.

Movie Announcer: The world watched in amazement as he unlocked the secrets of Al Capone's glove compartment!
George Newman: Ah-ha… *road maps*!

Boooo!

I feel like going to the roller rink and hearing You Spin Me Round on endless repeat. RIP

Back in my day the cheapest cereal was in a black and white box that just said "Corn Flakes" it was in my dad's favorite aisle - the generic aisle.
Now get off my lawn!

I like Lemonades!

I think I'm going to make some toilet shaped hard candies.
I think I'll call it John Candy
What, too soon?

I came here to post this!