I've got 99 problems but post-traumatic stress associated with the attempted genocide of my people, together with a melancholic look at the possibility of establishing a safe haven in the midst of a violently hostile region, ain't one.

That's no track list. It's a list of all his AV Club usernames.

CW realised that the Little Women weren't scary little.

Because when you think about the emergence of an all-powerful god-like intelligence, you naturally expect Seth Rogen to be closely involved.

A lot of the stuff in the prequels isn't inherently terrible. It's terrible in its execution.

I'm pretty sure "magical Jesus lion" is tautology.

Brewster: Evolution, which is Satan's plan to deny God. Evolution and salvation are mutually exclusive.

If the town you deserve is the honour-killing capital of southeastern Turkey, then the answer is 'I guess'.

There's an actual town called Batman in Turkey.

I prefer Grant Morrison's All-Star Superman, who was plainly a Superman for the whole planet, rather than just whichever particular geopolitical power happened to be its hegemon at that point.

Wait, a Cruel Intentions adaptation?

No, but I have asked for a 'bad trial thing' more than once.

I've been a lawyer for 20 years because I watched LA Law in the 80s.

He's the precursor to Wall-E.

You mean this time she goes through a tunnel to Mexico and meets Nyarlathotep ?

It's feudalism, folks. You don't get a vote.

It would put a terrible strain on the animators' wrists.

I think Jack Bauer in a Flatliners sequel sounds awesome.

The Van Helsing series lacks bite?

I'm pretty sure Will Smith has been around since the 1880s. How else would he have defeated that Giant Mechanical Spider that fought in the Civil War?