I'm so glad that the AV Club is devoting itself to exhuming these little-known pop songs.

You would never consider a girl beneath you?

Time was, it was smoke signals that got you laid. Now it's emojis.

What, the curtains?

The bear undoubtedly had him confused with Aphid Man, which was a reasonable mistake under the circumstances.

I kinda liked the idea of naming a film set in Kenya after an entire continent myself.

It's not the Arctic. You just don't realise how cold it is north of Luton.

Theese seek beets,

But who will play dickless in the remake?

Short people got no reason to be in the Huntsman.

"better than Speed Racer!"

I have no idea to this day what those superheroes were fighting about. Truth is, I don't want to know. Some things are best left unsaid.

Saw them play 30 years ago.

It's like that old saying, give a kid a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach the kid to fish, though, and the little fucker can fend for himself.

Look, it's been over a decade and the meter's still running.

Battleword!

Props for working an Andrew Marvell reference into a piece about Jennifer Lawrence and James Cameron.

But will I have any idea of what is going on?

I was in Vegas the other week. It turns out that Cirque du Soleil now controls half the casinos. Its plans for the other half are undisclosed, but the rehearsals have appaarently involved many twists and sprains.

Gone Girl 2: The Gonnering