but what if I'm a kid who happens to love things? and also stuff?

by a strange coincidence, I always thought there was just a single film whose title was Lambada: The Forbidden Dance.

Has there ever been a director in living memory who started out with such promise only to piss it away with such alacrity?

he's more dead than alive, like Leonard Cohen.

Morbo is pleased but sticky.

Is the school in Westchester, NY?

"a much more straightforward philosophical exploration of Christian themes than his Narnia series"
you mean, even more straightforward than the paper-thin allegory of Jesus as a giant lion?

Gen X?

I guess this means the AV Club is going porn-free huh?
because Steve wouldn't like that.

The West Wing:
wasn't 'Isaac and Ishmael' also a bottle ep?

sorry, my OUP copy of Anna Karenina is 811 pages. i'd simply assumed their adaptation would be the same length.

wait, Thom Yorke was a high school drop out?

Aasimov once said there are only two types of robot stories:
robots as threat and robots as pathos.

You've heard the expression "let's get busy"? Well, this is a Snow White who gets "biz-zay!" Consistently and thoroughly.

Does it involve him being in some way cantankerous?
Or a rap by John Barnes?

Hey, they should put that little girl from Aliens in charge.

EPA brainstorming session:
"I'll need three ships and fifty stout men. We'll sail 'round the Horn and return with spices and silk, the likes of which ye have never seen!"

i bet the AV Club subeditors find these jokes extremely trieing too.

i'd rather replay the Alias XBox game than rewatch seasons 3-5.

"sullying the legacy of one of its own fondly remembered show"
you don't need to reboot Alias to do that.