He’s “asking for a friend”

His insurance company is going to shit when they find out how the fire was put out.

Or lost, because they were sick of her videos on her bike.

I was gonna say because the dildo is up their asses, but this works too.

Naturally, I bought it. Sight unseen. Because I’m a fool.

Sanitary wipes are for babies

Talk about beating a dead horse....

Maybe she was afraid the dog would die of heat exhaustion from the 7 minutes that her car would be off with the window closed.

I’ll bet you a Lexus they do...

Hopefully their karma is better this time around. 

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WTF is a Seltos? Sounds like a medication for claustrophobia.

Sometimes is hard to combine puns and tractors, but your really pulled that one out.

Sweet Tooth could kick his ass