Sometimes I’ll get a long strip, so I can like feel it pulling off as it goes, and it bleeds. In my head I consider it “a good one.” It never really hurts too bad, though.

I bite skin off the inside of my cheeks. Like, big chunks of it. Always have. Probably always will.

If archery ends in a stalemate, is that a bow tie?

♫ HGH you work so gooooood ♫

John Mara, what are you doing on Kinja?

Sherman, maybe?

He used to play fallout, till he took a Sonata to the knee.

There’s TWO people in the world who think it’s a good idea to hack through an aero pan? We should get them in a ring and make them fight.

I’m so happy you’ve found a way to feel superior to people that like things.

Good dog, that is totally travelling.

Mine was a quasi-hookup, but bear with me. These dudes who lived together in a house while attending college were close-knit so they had a “post-Christmas” in February, in one of the dudes’ ranch in the countryside. I was invited by my BFF, one of the dudes’ girlfriends, and I was newly single, so I went. There was…

I came across a man on his knees, with another man pointing a gun at his head. When I approached, they both started saying that the other guy was a synth. Fortunately, I chose the right guy to kill (the synth, on his knees).

I actually got there before the fight finish and they wanted me to decide who was real.

Belichick: [inhales soul]

Gizmodo be like

He was a partner in the Houston office of my law firm prior to running for Congress. Despite being largely conservative and Republican, everyone in the office (and the firm, generally) loathed him, so much so that to this day, no one wants to use his former office. It’s considered tainted.

He just seems like the most Russian Russian to ever Russia.

That drinking yourself to death question answered like a True Soviet.

I’m more of a Wilhelm Scream kinda guy :D