Well, the Catholic Church’s stance is that consecrated hosts literally become the Body of Christ, and human flesh, like all meat, is naturally gluten free, so... there you go?

Show us on the doll where that creepy bastard touched you.

There is literally nothing worth fighting/getting arrested over at Burger King.

From a former African American studies professor

Plus, if it’s a blind date, you can recognize your date because they’re the only person in the place under 60.

“several cops showed up, became confrontational when they refused to serve them, took pictures, and posted it to Facebook on a dummy account.”

“Listen we’re disrupting fucking flight. I’m like ... since the black box always survives, let’s make the whole plane out of it.”

Elon isn’t going to fuck you.

That’s just a high tech feature. It acts as a speed bump for the person driving too closely behind you.

He should absolutely be removed from his CEO positions. If he wants to be a reality star and social media influencer, let him. He shouldn’t be running companies where people’s livelihood are on the line.

My favorite pig joke:

You know there were people on the other side of the door giggling.

We’ve had a lot of arguments over this chart:

I’ve tried saying the same thing about my penis, with mixed results.

So in the 10 months since the Go Fund Me was set up for Bobbitt, he would’ve spent roughly $5,000 on drugs.  Yeah that would’ve really been squandering the money compared to how well McClure and D’Amico managed it.

“I was wrongly accused at my town’s best pizzeria.”

This guarantees that no woman will be willing to get anywhere near this town for at least another five years.

Stating the obvious: where’s the movie about this guy’s life?

you out here asking answers, man

Yay, I found a sane person!