I just blew myself! To say thank you, I'm going to heart you. If that's not enough, I've got a frozen banana and some corn balls with your name on them.

Hearted back! Anyone who appreciates good beer has got to be an awesome person.

Did you know there's juggalo tumblr?

Ohhh, I didn't know about those! All the Charms pops I've eaten have bubble gum in the middle. Man, you're reminding me of my middle school years. I was such a candy fiend! Now that I'm a gown up my stomach and teeth hurt if I eat too much sugar. How I miss my 12 year old digestive system! All the sugar my super fast…

Do you remember the gigantic blue raspberry blow pops? Those were my favorite. Also, hearted because this is the second time in this thread that I've nodded along while reading your comment.

Is anyone else as confused as I am about the 84 comment thread below on why LA sucks/is awesome? I mean...wow, that thread got really serious.

Seriously! You're not going to change him and he's not asking for help. Also, if he keeps meeting psycho women, what's the common denominator there? Why is it that your last 10 partners were crazy/psycho/jerks? Anyone can be suckered in by a douche once or twice but when you're consistently suckered in, maybe you're…

A friend of mine dated "that guy." They opened a joint cell phone account but he never had his share of the bill at the end of the month. A few late fees later and she's racked up several hundred dollars on her credit card bill (that she couldn't afford to pay off) for their joint cell phone account. The same thing…

But, it's a fancy beer! It's got wheat in it!! Next thing you'll be telling me Bud Light Lime isn't an authentic Mexican beer and I don't need those blue bars to tell me when my drink is ready. Pshaaa.

You know, I think you should usually take someone's self-assessment at face value. If someone says something like "I'm dumb," "I'm a jerk" or "I'll probably break your heart" you should believe them and run away as fast as possible.

I think I love you <3. Hearting you harder than your twelve inch ruler.

I better get my fancy denim shots ready!

Oh Dr. Daniel Jackson, why are you helping The Office continue? Can't we just let that show rest in peace? Aren't there some Goa'uld you need to fight? Or you could go back to your 80's roots and be a preppy douchebag?

I wasn't but I am now!

I'm assuming you have kids and need the MIL to babysit? If that's the case, how about a Benadryl cocktail for the little ones, order some take out and have wild monkey set?

I just replied to someone above you. I'm not seeing the open thread on the side scrolly thing and when I tried reloading the jezebel page I was redirected to youtube. It took about 3 tries to get here. Wonky site.

Me too!! It took 3 tries before I could get to the comments. So weird.

Have you heard some politicians speaking lately? I question whether they ever learned human speech. It's like they know a bunch of words but they don't understand how to put them into a coherent sentence.

Hearted for using gorram. Also, with Conservatives pushing more government regulations regarding personal decisions, don't you feel like we're on the path towards creating Reavers??

Happy birthday almost name twin!