Nah, his supporters hate children because of participation trophies or something.

The only thing that keeps me going these days is the schadenfreude from all the people who didn’t think that Trump could possibly have enough red-hot pokers for each and ever one of their rectums.

It’s a mostly fair point; if it were a radio drama there wouldn’t be much of an argument to be made that a black actor couldn’t play an “aryan-esque” character.

Nobody seems to like it when I tell them that the X150 Jaguar XK looks uncomfortably like a circa-2000 Ford Taurus.

Well it certainly won’t be with Melania. Has she ever slept there once?

That mom has an office unpaid internship in the White House that she’ll put on her resume when she applies for her dad’s job when he retires, she should have an opinion about the current events, even a shitty one. No one cares if she loves her son or not.

Ah, the good ol’ “grind down a quarter-inch of roadway and slap on a fresh topcoat” method of road repaving.

Yup, not a thing. If it looks like a duck and it walks like a duck, it’s not really a duck it’s just ironically pretending to be a duck. I think that’s the saying, right?

Meanwhile in a slightly bluer area of the country...

I’m okay with wiping my measuring spoons between ingredients. Unless I’m for some strange reason measuring 1/8 tsp of raw salmon, I see no need to wash them between measures. 

Get her one of these so she’s not going through Brita filters 3x as fast as normal.

My waist band is secured by either a button or a hook clasp and then there’s a belt on top of that. There’s no just lowering it. Undoing that is objectively more involved than just unzipping, which I would need to at least partially do anyway to lower the waistband.

My waist band is secured by either a button or a hook clasp and then there’s a belt on top of that. There’s no just…

I don’t think he drinks water. Out actually anything besides diet Coke. Which is mindblowing. I don’t understand how he’s alive.

Yep! Pretty sure being in Blackadder was mandatory for every British actor of the era :D

It’s not convoluted. It’s two layers of fabric, overlapping. For science I grabbed a measuring tape. On a pair of Champion boxer-briefs, it opens up to a 4" hole. If you can’t fit your wingwang through a 4" hole, then I pity your wife/girlfriend.

It’s not convoluted. It’s two layers of fabric, overlapping. For science I grabbed a measuring tape. On a pair of…

Could be. The last time I remember someone yanking their pants down to pee at a urinal it was 2nd grade and that new kid got made fun of so bad he never did it again. Pulling down was very much the “you’re still peeing in toilets because you can’t reach the urinal” move. There was also a big shift from tighty-whities…

Could be. The last time I remember someone yanking their pants down to pee at a urinal it was 2nd grade and that new…

If he got within 6 inches of one he’d vomit, flee into the nearest closet and start praying the gay away.

The one about the dictionary is one of my favorites.