Mmmm, butter tarts. I do keep expecting them to blow up. 

One of the best burgers I ever had was a peanut butter + pickled jalapeno burger that I ordered out of curiosity. 

It’s from a musical. I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but there are these things called “actors” who have a “wardrobe” and “wigs”. 

I grew up on M.R. James, so I’m a sucker for short and unsettling every time. Some good picks this year.

Agreed. I’m a millennial but was basically raised by my Gen X older brother, and as the years go on I’ve felt more and more alienated from the rest of my cohort. 

Depends on the service. I get a weekly delivery - disabled, so it’s a lifeline - that’s either comparable or cheaper than shopping at the store, all the same deals plus occasional email coupons. $50 a year means free delivery over $50, and there’s no option for tip and the drivers refuse.

I like the stupid name. It helps cut down on people who are ashamed to feel silly, which is exactly who I don’t want to be doing amateur sports with.

It sounds like you have less of a Christmas problem and more of a husband problem. 

Digestives were sort of vaguely seen as healthy in the past. The name stuck, but nobody even thinks about the name anymore if they’re familiar with the biscuit.

Not at all. Completely different taste, texture, and purpose. 

Someone I know who switched from ultra-fundamentalist Republican to lefty (escaping how one grows up can be difficult) once explained to me that people on the left look at the practical impact of policy in determining whether it’s good or not, and people on the right look at whether the policy follows the right…

I’d try it if it wasn’t made by Nestle, because fuck Nestle and all the horrors they’ve signed off on. 

You don’t know many poor people, do you?

It’s written for the hook of ‘Planet Fitness is offering free teen memberships’, so it’s teen-focused.

Absolutely. Pride is still a riot, this year of all years. Anything that tries to sanitize that should be pelted with rocks. 

Yep. My school had a door out for almost every classroom. One story, built around a courtyard with 95% of rooms on the outside. 

Why on earth is having birds a red flag?! Or do you just mean exotic birds, because my partner having finches was definitely not any kind of flag. 

I do understand that, but all the same: please, for the love of god, why does this culture not understand proportionate response? This deserves a bit of tsking and a mention on the yearly retrospective, not weeks of thinkpieces and people acting like it was some kind of horror show.

See, this is what I’m talking about.

I’m still in awe at how insane everyone went about this.