When I was young and had my first steady girlfriend, she convinced me to call my parents and tell them that she was pregnant. That went ok, so she convinced me to call my sister and tell her that I was scared because my girlfriend had tested positive for HIV and we hadn’t been being safe. My sister started to cry and…

I was just going to call them dickfaces or pieces of shit

They believe that they have the right to private conversations and healthcare decisions, but the rest of us baby killing centurions don’t

Find someone who tried to fuck Kaidan Alenko then

Having someone that likes you so much, they’ll try to figure out how to make sex good for you — that is a really, really powerful and rare thing. —

Look, I am glad the catastrophe of a healthcare plan Paul Ryan came up with while drinking keg beer at his frat and fantasizing about killing the poor didn’t pass either, but this isn’t a clear victory for the Democrats either. ACA is better than nothing but there are HUGE problems with health care in this country…

If Trumpcare doesn’t pass the House tomorrow, Trump will be under no obligation to leave Obamacare in place. He lies about everything. No reason they should take him at his word now. If GOP leaders in the house and senate wait out his short attention span and memory before introducing another healthcare bill, Trump…

Yeah, it was one of the biggest PC titles of its time and got ports to consoles too

That’s not a computer with legs. It’s a monitor with legs

So that’s how he plans to bring manufacturing back. Our entire economy will be focused on manufacturing prefab wall pieces that can be shipped to the border and building ladders that can be exported

Captain of an interstellar delivery ship, Katey Sagal 

Color me intrigued 

Dating me was probably pretty embarrassing I guess

They will manufacture whatever evidence they need

Actually, for most of the mega rich, you stash most of it in the bank and let it earn interest. Then you take the dividends and put them in the bank and let them earn interest. You spend a good amount to pay for an extravagant lifestyle, but there is a limit to how much a person can really spend. The bulk is just…

Wait, are we talking about the next Transformer movie or the president?

Legit question: