What about the lack of confidence ex-ball player that wrote this? Half the article is about him and his buried jealousy of guys that can play and the attention they receive. Plus he's verbose as hell. If a good editor cut about 80% of this piece out I'm sure Nike would've been fine. There's like 4 paragraphs alone…

Someone is a pine box derby racer... :)

If that's your definition of "jacked up" you basically have nothing of substance in your life worth complaining about. Good for you!

Why would you want to force standardization? I like the variation for all of these items.

No no no - it's only a quarter century.

I'm guessing her canape is actually a canopy.

Seriously? Nobody has photoshopped Paul Walker into each of these yet? Cmon internet - don't go all Disney on me already!