Pro: The Cardinals are eliminated.

The tepid response to her awesome speech speaks volumes. Hollywood’s limousine liberals don’t like to be confronted with the truth.

I’m at an age and supposed maturity level where I should n’t be happy about this, but I am because I called dibs on Tom Hiddleston a long time ago.

Roses are red

Sorry, but I can’t stand poetry.

It was not legal,

Let’s nip this one in the bud: filming opposing teams’ sidelines was only legal from designated areas in the stadium, and the Patriots’ tapes were filmed from outside those areas. So argue over how big a violation it was, but it was technically illegal the whole time.

Dating is an absolute mindfuck.

The moral of the story? Don’t go on a cruise if your relationship is in trouble. Nothing like being stuck together on a floating prison, unable to get away from each other that will not help the situation. Also, don’t date assholes.

Of all the fucking—WHY WOULD SOMEONE WORKING FOR TIPS STEAL YOUR WALLET RIGHT BEFORE THE PART WHERE YOU TIP THEM.

I can’t even with this guy today.

This is second-semester Senior Obama and I’m here for it.

I love “no longer gives a fuck” Obama so much. Going off, hanging with Bear Grylls, dancing with children, getting major policy bills passed...

ugh someone help me get this huge stupid grin off my face before my co-workers think I care about things.

Fuck yeah!

Look, let’s face it. Men are far too emotional to be trusted with the power of governing things.

Thought that his Civilization game was real history?

Can I just say here how much I love Snopes, and that the dumb shit people believe astonishes me?