Ain’t nobody premed anymore.

I was definitely not in before hashtag not all greeks but I’m late. Oh dear.

End these fucking horror shows already jesus christ. Get your shit together schools.

Mo babies mo probs

Waiting for the Katy Perry is in rehab announcement.

What a loser.

Kinda hard to give this excuse:

What the fuck?!

Your sister is out of control.

What the...

Oh no that gold chain...

Dramatic reenactment of him at the end of every night.

90s me never thought I’d be so viscerally put off by brad pitt one day.

O_O WOW I didn’t even remember him and here you are getting ready to sacrfice yourself on the grenade for us - you’re a peach. (not /s)

If it makes you feel any better I’ve IRL ground my bits into some PRRRRREEEETTTYYY questionable folk.... I’d say your mind is clearly trying to work out some problems but it came out as this fucked up dream. But you won’t be haunted by your problematic pelvic encounters as I...

Never has a smile creeped so slowly and authentically into a giant grin on my face.

Headlines like these give me life.

12 lawsuits over time or like 12 currently active?

Honestly, both his actual voice and written transcripts make me stabby and it’s fucking with my ability to internet or watch news.

Avid Clue players?