Let me tell you, I’ve had sex with some big dicks in my day, and my opinion has always been if I wanted a bruised fucking cervix I would just get pregnant and have a goddamn baby so my mom would stop whining about how she has no grandchildren.

White kids?

I think that too many people want to go in to the first shop they find and get it done, quickly and cheaply. This is a forever thing. It’s all the desire to have immediate gratification. I once was given a gift cirtificate by a friend to a shop for $250. That’s a hefty start to a piece. After 15 minutes of talking to…

Sad tattoo story... A friend’s sister excitedly showed me her tatoo. She said she’d gotten the Chinese symbol for “wood dragon” on her as it was her astrological sign. I read some Chinese, it said “sun”. She wandered around all of Asia proudly showing it to people on her trip to demonstrate her appreciation of their…

I went to a shop to talk to an artist recommended by a friend. I was explaining what I wanted and he said “uhhhhh yeah. I’m not the right person to do that style. Lemme grab so and so for you, he loves this kind of work!”

Seriously. I got my first tattoo at 18 and even then I knew to research and look at portfolios.

This is what happens when you don’t research your parlor, artist, and subject matter. You don’t pop into the first parlor you see on vacation and pick shit off the wall. Always ask around, quiz tattooed people in your town who have nice work, ask to see the artist’s portfolio, and find out what kind of standards…

I work at a tourist trap in Houston (it’s all about spaaace!) and while it’s essentially a museum, people treat it as if it’s DisneyWorld and they should be treated like fucking royalty. So when there is a 2 hour wait for a tour and parents ask me why and I explain the whole concept of a large amount of people wanting…

Holy crap. I think i was once at the DMV with that same lady.

Yes, i sat at a DMV listening to a SUPER WASTED lady ranting to anyone who would listen that she “does whatever the FUCK she wants. Fuck you, if you play along with THE MAN.”

I only caught the tail end of her being arrested for a DUI in the parking lot as she…

My biggest takeaway from this is that there’s a WAFFLE HOUSE ALBUM AND WHY DON’T I OWN THIS?!? Also, lol at tourists who don’t understand their tab even when they’re ordering from a menu which states prices. I work in an airport, and at least twice a day I have to go talk to someone who somehow thinks the prices on…

All of these are great, but the guy driving off with his much-screamed-for pizza still on the roof of his car is my most favorite.

Agreed but I wonder how that fact could be introduced without ruining the effect. Like one part of being gay is having an attraction to people of the same gender so give them a gay partner/ex/date and boom casually introduced in your movie. Surely a trans person is just living and being the gender they are so for all…

How did the person responding to you get out of the greys without also ungreying you? The mysteries of Kinja.

what

Let’s walk away from those weird beets.. i’ll cover the retreat.

I want to get behind a woman for president, and she talks a good game, but... Yeah. No. What sort of scandals have the Republicans Conservatives Zealots managed to drag out of the closet on the Obamas? None. Yet there are still mentally challenged people on the internet still claiming he’s a Kenyan.

The Clinton’s have…

I was there last night and it was a difficult night for the whole company, as they had two fairly lengthy technical delays. The second time, he came out personally to apologise, and people stuck cameras in his face then, and he (politely) asked them not to do that. It’s a slightly unusual but excellent production and…

*Threw

Just FYI for US (and non-London) Jezzies, there will be live screenings of this production in movie theaters around everywhere in October by the National Theatre Live folks. I live in a non-major city and I’ll be able to see it near me so it’s worth checking out the site to see if it’ll be anywhere near you: http://ntl…

The same can (and should) be said about ANY live performance. Put your phone down and just fucking watch it.