Dear Volkswagen,

Little does the world know that, due to a translation error, they spent years and countless millions of dollars engineering their own “de-feet device,” which was a market flop after Chinese car buyers found themselves unable to walk after test drives.

It’s Kyle-on-Kyle action, but not the kind you’d expect from terrible NASCAR fanfiction.

And hydronium hydroxide (HOH) is every bit as corrosive, destructive, and deadly. Don’t forget that.

:O I made Jalopnik?! Very cool, thanks for the love! Here’s a few pictures, too.

the way my Cadillac ATS gets only 20 mpg out of a 2 liter engine.

The Corolla’s 1.8 liter engine seems determined to throwback to 2003... does that count?

“Any customer can have a Bronco any time he wants so long as it is an F150.”.

You can try, but you’ll never beat the 4th Law of Thermodynamics.

Boost in. Apex seals out.

The official shoe of H2Oi:

CANNONBALL!

That’ll buff right out.

Crash avoidance.

Unfortunately, not all bioweapons attacks come from outside.

Well, when I’m driving an Ecoboost, I want to stab baby seals less than when I’m forced to drive a hybrid.

Ford

I bet he wishes he caught that before he hit samit.

“The sustainability of the regime.”

So that’s how Boxsters are made...

Now that’s what I call downforce.