Seriously waiting for someone to photoshop the above photo to have Betsy flipping double-birds. It would fit well with her views on student safety and loan debt.

I’m hoarding scrap metal. Come see me in about 10 years when you need to fix the pipes in Megaton.

Barron is the only Trump child for whom I have empathy. Also, Tiffany to a lesser extent, who appears to be the Meg Griffin of the Trumps.

“This is a good comment.”

Not all heroes wear capes. Of course, you might be wearing one. How would I know?

Mongo appreciates this take.

I now wish I was blind, dude.

“Rub some dirt on it.”

The NHL mandated nets above the glass behind the goals because a 13-year-old girl died after being struck with a puck. I have season tickets behind one of the nets in Los Angeles, and I just take it as a given that my view of the far end of the ice is a little fuzzy. Still, I have no trouble seeing the puck even at…

A large pizza is also easier to throw onto the roof.

The comments section is now complete. We are not going to do better.

But do you also pronounce the “h” in “hour?”

The only thing the nickname does is put Elton John’s song in my head on permanent loop.

Actually, it sounds like the reporter lifted that paragraph from a bio of Michael Jordan.

They’re going to have a tough time learning to take out their own trash, clean their own houses, cook their own food, and drive themselves to the golf course when all the poor and middle class people are dead because they couldn’t afford health care. At which point, I will rise from my grave, raise a bony middle…

Call him anyway. Be a thorn in his side. Tell him you will raise money for anyone that challenges him, Republican or Democrat, in his next election.

This is also life in the Trump administration...

Is the corner where he keeps his fainting couch?