I’m re-playing this now. If it is a play, that part in world 8 with Mario getting killed over and over by cannonballs really tends to drag on.

This is Major Tom to ground control

I’ve decided to create a fictional automotive shopper named Roger...

I had an excellent Philosophy professor who was unfortunately denied the rest of his life due to a horrible accident, but his classes will stick with me for all time.

Man, this is so much cooler than when Jack Johnson’s parents stole my kid’s piggy bank.

This entitled housewife looks back at her impressionable child and calmly says “She is yelling because that girl deserves it, the service is terrible every time we come here.” And then she looked me straight in the eyes.

The last time I saw that many personlized handshakes Michael J. Fox was sending out Christmas cards.

Many people hire attorneys for tickets because good attorneys know the courts, the prosecutors and the judges and know what kinds of outcomes you can expect from each. On your own, you take your chances and see what happens.

now listen you idiot, keep reading to those little kids and let the grown ups handle this and take that stupid look off your face

Dave said to me, “I’m a lot more popular then you [NOTE: true], and I have a lot more friends than you [also true], and I’ll kick your fucking ass [NOTE: result conspicuously absent].”

All you need:

I’m with the council on this, sorry. You install an arcade, next thing you know guys with giant boomboxes, spiked bracelets and mohawks show up in Trans Ams. Before you know it, BAM - break dancing war.

He fought nail for that award.

I bought my 10 year old Counterstrike a few months ago on a Steam sale, not because he wanted to play it, but because he wanted the resources for his Gary’s Mod modding.

Just last night I heard familiar sounds from his room and went in there to see him playing Dust2, and he tells me it’s the funnest game ever. I was…

Southfield Freeway (near Detroit for others) Speed limit is 55 but if you’re not doing at least 70 in the left you’ll see road rage real quick. Runs from 9 Mile to I-94. 3 lanes of traffic and only a 55 mph speed limit is ridiculous

Southfield “freeway” in Detroit, a 4-lane divided highway with on/off ramps and a speed limit of 55mph.

“You know, the Confederate flag is just a symbol of States’ Rights.

Agreed. When Timonen tries to pass it on to someone else, Toews sees this, comes back around and yells at Timonen to “Go for a skate!” Awesome moment, basically saying, be selfish homie, this is the best moment of your career, enjoy it a little bit.

I was assaulted by a movie goer who felt she shouldn’t have to wait in line behind the 300 people who arrived before her, so she trampled me to get into a theater that wasn’t prepped yet. Thankfully, she also obstinately plopped her ass into the seat of her choice and refused to move. That made it easy for us to get…