In my mid 20’s I was hooking up with a petite single mother in her early 30’s (MILF). One time we had sex in my Honda Accord. She was sitting spread at an angle on the center arm rest/storage and I was kneeling on the driver’s seat. Those who have an Accord know the arm rest on the center console slides forward and…

This means that I leave you in the insanely capable hands of Patrick George...

That one woman CLEARLY did not need that scooter. She hopped right out of the thing to throw down.

FTFY

Obligatory:

That was pretty damn cool of him. Way to let the other teams fans feel good in your park. Well done all around.

Bartolo Colon Hits Triple, Stays At Second Anyway.

Face off! Aah! Aah! Flip the pass! Aah!

He needs cooler parents

Similar story!

At the rate this is going, by the end of next week we will have learned that the whole family are secretly coprophagic cannibals, and while they will have been dropped by TLC, they will have been picked up by a very obscure pay-per-view channel under the new title The Aristocrats.

I was a bit disappointed as I did not see any genital stepping.

Ok, not all “ocular prostehisises (prosthesisi?) are created equal. I dated a girl who claimed to have only one eye. Which was technically true.

You can’t sneak the plot of a King of The Hill episode by me, dammit.

Not long after my wife and I got married, I found myself alone in the apartment with no food except for the remains of weeks-old birthday cake. I sat in the dark watching TV and ate it, and was surprised at how moist it still was after all that time. The wife came home from work after a while and turned on the lights,…

I was about 10 years old and was at a friend’s house. He was playing in the basement, and I was upstairs for some reason. I opened the fridge, looking for a snack to sneak. There it was, a jar of vanilla cake frosting, about half-empty! I grabbed a spoon and took a huge bite.

Or better yet, Do Dota 2 first. Make enough money to pay for college without loans, then go back.

Just when I think I’m out.

Handsome Dan