It doesn’t matter if you’re twenty or fifty: If you don’t want a proposal because you feel rushed THAT IS LEGIT.

LW1; you’re already disowned. Your parents just haven’t thrown the shit fit yet.

Writer #1: You’re trying to please abusive people. You will never fully please them and they will always find something to disapprove over because it’s a form of control. Love yourself first and consider putting more distance between you and them.

I’m pretty much on board with Jane’s advice to LW1.

Once again, Jane proves herself to be sort of an asshole.

This week’s column actually solves itself.

The second and the third advice were terrible.

Did you watch the entire thing? She did mention what she would do if elected. Honestly, I like the cheeky approach. It’s funny and effective.

LW2 - being young isn’t necessarily the issue, it’s being ready. Some people are ready when they’re really young, and some people aren’t ready even into their 40s. We all go at our own pace. It sounds like you think this guy might not be wrong for you, but you’re definitely not ready for that level of commitment yet.…

First questioner: I know you want your family to accept you, but your family already doesn’t accept you. Your mother may pretend to accept you, but she does not accept who you are. It sounds like your father will not accept who you are either. I think you need to realize those facts. Also they sound like shitty shitty…

I can’t believe Jane’s rude, snarky response to the 2nd person. “You are a child”? Like, what the fuck even? I’m 35 and sometimes I write quick emails with typos, because who the fuck cares? That doesn’t mean I’m a child. Why is Jane still writing an advice column for Jezebel?

LW1: Therapy. Abusive parents don’t really see/care that they are abusive and that rarely changes your dynamic because you’re an adult. But the way to figure out whether that toxicity is worth your time is to get some time and energy to process it in the first place. Everyone’s tolerance level is different!

You are very devious. I’d like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Hypothetical:

The typo thing=children is unkind. You should not marry this man not because you may be young, based on your typos. You should not marry this man because after hooking up on-again, off-again, fooling around, whatever it was for three years, he can’t know after three months of monogamy if he’ll be satisfied and…

“I believe you are a child. / right now you need to be (...) nutting all over the place.” 

I felt like she addressed what she can do for the state. She said exactly what her campaign stands for and that, in addition to her policy positions, not having a penis was an added bonus. That is how I heard it. Also: I am pretty sure this won’t be her only ad.

Oh god, and fucking hate the smug filmmaker trope of “did you enjoy the gratuitous and cheerfully-scored violence we spent thousands of hours and millions of dollars to show you? Well, surprise, YOURE THE REAL MONSTER FOR WATCHING IT !”

I prefer the Danica Roem approach: Don’t ask people to vote for you because of who you are, ask people to vote for you because of what you can do for the state.

Noooooooo this is disappointing. I wanted them to make something really good out of it. Don’t get me wrong, for the life of me I couldn’t see how they would strike the right tone—it’s a much easier thing to do in a trailer than in a full-length movie—but I wanted good cinema to come from this. Sigh.