Hmm, you may be onto something. This is the second time that Jones has claimed there’s a child sex ring in a highly improbable place. I mean, how delusional or stupid do you have to be to think a former first lady/Senator/Secretary of State/presidential candidate is running such an enterprise out of a pizza joint? If…

Surprised nobody plucked this low-hanging fruit.

If she hadn’t dropped “mama bear” and all of the exclamations, I could have read the review as hyperbolic. Now the presence of buttholes are more than confirmed.

Also, usually people who refer to “haters” are absolutely allergic to being wrong, humble or apologetic and think they are 150% until the end-of-time-infinity-so-there types. Agreed, Team Customer all the way on this one.

Oh my god this for the win. The term “Mama Bear” automatically makes the defendant’s case dubious at best. And the third person? Done. There is nothing that can now come out of that woman’s mouth that I believe.

Yes. It feels like a red flag. “I wouldn’t write about it if I was doing it”?

Mama bear mode is when you need to lift a car so you can free your child...other than that take several seats and stfu...

I kinda feel like you probably have to be a pedophile of some kind to constantly invent and obsess over these far flung, highly improbable, and in some cases, literal science fiction scenarios that all somehow involve child sex rings and child sex slaves. Theyre kinda showing their hand ya know? Like if someone told…

Why am I reminded of this: “There will be no curiosity, no enjoyment of the process of life. All competing pleasures will be destroyed. But always — do not forget this, Winston — always there will be the intoxication of power, constantly increasing and constantly growing subtler. Always, at every moment, there will be…

Considering Alex Jones had people believing that there are child sex slaves on Mars, perhaps we could send Alex and his conspiracy theory buddies there to investigate. At some point, though, we’d have to tell them that 1) the trip is one way and 2) they’re going to have to find a way to grow their own food.

Maybe Trump should’ve stayed in Poland:

The owner sounds like a SJW Sarah Palin. Barf.

Yeah. Also Mama Bears would definitely describe staring and yodeling at a stranger as their kid’s idea of being friendly.

Right: I become like a wild animal on occasion. Really, I stop acting like a human.

Yeah, no one has to bring out “mama bear” unless they are being unreasonable and trying to justify their unreasonable behavior. She would have seemed in the right had she not brought up mama bear and the exclamations.

This is precisely what I came down here to write. The second I hear “mama bear” I go ahead and assume slightly nuts. Though they’re usually on the other side of the counter demanding to see the manager.

“Maine’s fun-loving Republican governor Paul LePage implied that he makes up stories to confuse the press; in a radio interview, he also said “the sooner the print press goes away, the better society will be.” 

From baby buttholes to tofurkey sausages, this whole article made me vaguely nauseated.

Mike Pence has declared that “we will put American boots on the face of Mars.” You know what, that’s really great. Have an amazing time, Mike and Karen!