Portrait mode is not admissible in court.

Take your star and make like Jordan Peele’s directorial debut.

Or the result of someone making their porn name from the name of their first pet and the first street they lived on.

Ah, the old Shaggy defense.

In all seriousness, can someone tell me why a 66 year old paraplegic was tasked with controlling access to the field at the Super Bowl?

*The 12th Man in Your Mom

I’ve heard the accuser’s story and they don’t have a leg to stand on.

I know Rusty Hardin is a famous and accomplished attorney, but his name still sounds like a supporting cast member of “The 13th Man in Your Mom, Vol. 6".

Stephen Miller confirms.

That picture is fucking me up. I’m not that old.

And the answer to “How you doin’?” appears to be “not great.”

Two counts of DUI in one encounter? My man is still putting up suspicious stats.

Hair Color: BLACK

Agreed, totally not intentional but the rules around a high boot are intended to prevent reckless plays - which this certainly was - and the red card was absolutely warranted.

Well, in his defense, the situation is a little confusing. Not long ago, everyone was demanding to see his cork.

Based on the indictment, Belle is still racking up doubles.

Except, with Trump I believe it. She’s not the first person to mention Melania having her own room. Trump himself bragged about how she has her own separate bathroom/bedroom. Melania’s friends have commented that she knew exactly who Donald was when she started dating him: womanizer. I think she married him for the…

Good God Eric is fucking ugly as sin.

Trust accounts how most people get tripped up, especially solo practitioners, if they don’t set them up correctly. They put money in the wrong type of accounts, accidentally commingle funds, or something like that.

Attn: Normal People,