I can only dream of thinking up something this amazing.

I like how the introductory shot of big bad Tommy Lee Jones is him staring at a bunch of monitors and he has no clue what the fuck is going on.

Their best friend better be a talking pie.

Sounds like Jason Bourne in that the filmmakers wanted to say something about privacy in the digital age, but no one involved understood how computers work.

"I hate you! I wish I was never artificially created in a lab!"
"Oh, Scott, you know that hurts Daddy."

I remember it coming out around the same time as Batman and Robin, and as people were leaving Batman and Robin they looked at the poster for Austin Powers like "Eh, couldn't be any worse."

By "Austin Powers."

First one is legit good, second is a little too in love with itself, third is just watching a movie masturbate.

Maybe Jones thinks he's too sexy for his shirt?

All things considered I think SMS's Psycho Killer is one of the best movie openers ever.

Both: "It'll be a road trip movie co-starring Judd Hirsch. He's a mensch!"

Third rule of Fight Club Sound Design is "Holy Shit, Fight Club's Sound Design is Still Fucking Reference Quality."

I feel like designers are starting to look at GTAV's wardrobe options and thinking, "You know, they're not THAT far fetched."

So when will it be revealed Wendy's smugness is only a cover for her own deep insecurities?

Well maybe George had food intolerances.

Peeping Toms have to plan their meals ahead of their peeping. Too much hot food may throw off their tree balancing.

But then you wouldn't have found the cave filled with treasure, fought a bull, humiliated Herman Goering, met an adorable penguin, and many other adventures.

And why does he keep calling his best friend so many racist names?

It'll just be cut out entirely over fears of alienating MRAs.

Parents came down to visit Saturday. Last fall when I was home for a weekend my mom showed me a reproduction of Renoir's Luncheon of the Boating Party she bought at an estate sale. I, tipsy at the time, said that would look awesome in my apartment (lots of pretty blues). Sure enough they brought it down after finding…