I don’t have to imagine, I’ve had sex.

Let’s remember a guy who sucked: LenDale White! Remember all the fat jokes about LenDale? Those were the days. He’s probably somewhere housing a burrito right now.

“This has been a real learning experience for me.”

That’s so bad.

Not being a millennial, I’ve always preferred beer to be beer-flavored, myself...

We’ll see if Rudolph can be a Comet when they’re Blitzen.

MLB deleted the tweet when thousands of angry fans wrote in to tell them that Spider-Man is not Japanese.

Bitch.

What is “leftover” steak?

Nailed it.

Remember when Dirk was all fat and had those hormone injections that kind of made him look like a child’s drawing of Godzilla? We all responded to Y2K differently...you really had to be there.

I can't think a better expression of an anti-dope policy than suspending Ryan Lochte.

I doubt Kobe had anything to do with it. He hasn’t been anywhere near the paint in years. 

We’re not insulting Casey’s General Store pizzas, so close your mouth, unless that’s the only way you’re able to breathe.

I honestly find their love of shitty, corporate pizza far more offensive than their wanton bigotry and loose grasp of the English language.

This guy is actually writing rhymes about fantasy football. The first verse was about Dalvin Cook—and how he might have to give him a second look.

+1 yeah Jeets

Pizza Hut. Am I doing it right? 

Bortles said he’d carry his keys on him, like most people, except his pocket keeps breaking down.